The-Four-Levels-Of-Dealing-With-Differences-Paul-Andrew-Executive-Coaching-Leadership-Training-Keynote-Speaker

The Leadership Coach, Paul Andrew, Executive Coaching, Leadership Training, Keynote Speaker

The Four Levels Of Dealing With Differences

More often than not the struggles we deal with as leaders revolve around the ways in which people are different. Perhaps two team members have very different communication styles or personality types. Or maybe we’re mediating disagreements between middle managers with opposite concepts of what it means to be a leader. People are different, that’s clear. But it’s the extent to which you can manage those differences for the good of the team that greatly impacts your effectiveness as a leader.

I sat with a leader recently who described his 2IC as the opposite of himself in many ways. “How’s that going?” I asked. In response he laughed, shrugged his shoulders and said “Well… we’ve worked together for a few years now. We used to fight but I guess we’ve learned how to put up with each other”. I got a real sense in that moment that he’d figured that was about as good as it could it get. So I drew this for him on a napkin

In my view there are four levels on which we can deal with the differences between us

Conflict is the lowest level. Conflict says, “Difference is bad”. When we stay in a place of sustained conflict over the differences between us, each of our contributions to the team is significantly impacted and in all likelihood we also make the work environment unpleasant for those around us. A little conflict is a part of life and can even be good for teams. But when conflict defines a relationship nothing good is likely to come of it for anyone.
Tolerance is a step forward but it’s not a worthy goal for effective leaders. Tolerance says, “Difference is a fact of life”. Great teams do more than just learn to get along. Tolerance takes very little skill, just the ability to put aside our differences and get on with the job. In fact novelist William Somerset Maugham called tolerance “another word for indifference.”
Appreciation is the ability to recognise differences, then move beyond conflict over them and then see those differences as worthy of praise. Appreciation says, “Difference is good”. So the visionary then recognises the contribution of those dealing with the details of their grand ideas. The free thinker realises the value of critical thought. The diplomatic communicator becomes grateful for the person who “calls it as they see it”.
Leverage is the ability to turn those differences into an advantage for the team. Leverage says, “Difference is an opportunity”. It’s one thing to tolerate or even appreciate what’s different about another individual, but it’s a true leader that can capitalise on the contribution those different views or strengths can bring to the organisation. Great leaders don’t just embrace diversity they seek it out. They resist monocultures. No sports coach worth their salt wants a team who are all the same, and neither should you.

Why not take a moment and write down the names of a few people who are very different to you-

On what level are you seeing those differences? Conflict, Tolerance, Appreciation or Leverage?
If you’ve settled for tolerance, try writing a list of things that you could begin to value about their unique outlook or methodology.
Better still, how could those differences present an opportunity for the competitive advantage of your team? What could you do to better leverage what every individual brings to the table? That’s a worthy goal.